There are certainly elegant specimens out there, but your average cheap umbrella will wrestle with you pathetically in public ’til it just gives up and dies, it’s bony body mangled and your pride less than intact. Even in death it makes you feel like you’re the loser. And it won’t happen to you just once.
The prolonged pain of this repetitive struggle will cause you to become slowly and stupidly angry until one day when it starts to rain, you will turn your head to the heavens and start wailing at the sky. No doubt, people will look at you and judge. Continue reading