Category Archives: Ca depend!

To a T

How to make me a cup of tea:
  1. Think about how much you love me :) Hmmm, that’s nice, isn’t it? (I love you too.) If you have never met me, you probably won’t need to be making me a cup of tea at this point, so please don’t fret about loving me, this is just for future reference.
  2. Boil water. Make sure it is actually boiled and not just showing off.
  3. Pour it from a great height onto a teabag. You must endure Continue reading

Umbrella Dilemma

The humble umbrella is ruled by a special Sod’s law. I care for the concept, but I can’t whole-heartedly back the beleaguered brolly.

There are certainly elegant specimens out there, but your average cheap umbrella will wrestle with you pathetically in public ’til it just gives up and dies, it’s bony body mangled and your pride less than intact. Even in death it makes you feel like you’re the loser. And it won’t happen to you just once.

The prolonged pain of this repetitive struggle will cause you to become slowly and stupidly angry until one day when it starts to rain, you will turn your head to the heavens and start wailing at the sky. No doubt, people will look at you and judge. Continue reading

My Mate, Marmite?

Marmite with a touch of Champagne, a ghastly marriage of French and English

I completely contradict the Marmite maxim.

I do not love it, I do not hate it. I kind of like it from time to time.

I’m not sure this constitutes the sort of basic, polarised reaction one is supposed to have. I am firmly on the Marmite fence. I can’t even enter the Marmite website. Continue reading

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