He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not (I wish he loved me not at all, instead of such a lot).
He starts with gentle stroking as my senses start to wake. I push him away calmly, but he won’t give me a break.
His clinginess annoys me every morning when I rise; he caresses my proportions with his length against my thighs.
The more I try to hold him back, the more I’m open to attack. He really has a canny knack of gravitating to me; I can’t contain a hasty smack (where is his sense of privacy?).
It’s getting suffocating, unrelentingly frustrating, how can unrequited love arouse such vehement hating?
I’m hard on him, it’s true, I know, whereas he loves me head to toe…
Got to chuck him, that’s for certain…
Stupid f****** shower curtain.
- Wacky Product of the Week: Bloody Serial Killer Shower Curtain (savings.com)
- Lustables: Design Your Own Shower Curtain (ecosalon.com)